I like working out; it makes me feel great, it makes me less fat, and the people-watching opportunities are endless. I go to a yuppie gym, so people-watching is even more exciting than usual, but it’s also irritating. Allow me to elaborate :)
Cardio Princess- Oh, you know her. She’s the one that spends more time in the locker room getting ready to work out than she actually does working out. She’s the one looking “super-cute” on the treadmill, walking 2mph and not breaking a sweat, because that would ruin her makeup. Checking out guys and judging the chubs is basically the extent of her workout unless the princess has her minions in tow that day, and then priority goes to gossip. If that is the case, anyone within a 20 foot radius of the CP and her bitches should probably prepare to hear about Maybeline, menstruation, and the Real World.
Mr. Bogart- I see you; you’re over there working on the shoulder press. You get your shoulder press on, boy, but don’t get all pissed off when I hop on the bench press just because “it’s in your circuit”. It is physically impossible to use two machines at one time, so share the love, grandpa.
The Window Exerciser- Walking laps around the equipment, are we? Just checking out what everybody else is doing, are ya? Well, get out of my bubble, ass! Can’t you see that I am trying to get my roman chair on? I could kick you in the neck right now. I hate this more than anything at the gym. You see them walk by once, that’s normal. See them walk by again, maybe they liked what they saw. See them walk by three more times, screw that, they are just slacking off! Why do they even go to the gym? Just to be able to say that they went to the gym that day? Post it on your Facebook and go walk around Walmart instead, window exercisers, because you’re pissing me off and getting in my dang way!
Haha. I’m so awesome. Expect more gym/health related posts in the future because the food nazi is on a health kick lately.
Hope everybody is doing well :)