Tuesday, April 26, 2011

T3- Action Packed!

Hello readers :) I would ordinarily apologize for being a worthless terd of a blogger, but we all know that make-up posts are just as good ;) That's what she said. It's been a good minute since I've posted, so I've definitely made a few T3-worthy observations. Here's what's pissing me off this week:

1.) 4/20 Haters- You go out on Friday nights and you drink and drive; in fact, society hears about a drinking and driving accident at least once a week. Uhm enough said? Yes, but I'll continue. You drink and you become hateful and you make ridiculous decisions (i.e. throwing furniture, imitating a free-range chicken, sleeping with a mustached woman, or operating a vehicle). And you're going to hate on the stoners?  Hypocrite, much?

*Note: exclusions from this generalization are the following: responsible drinkers (high five), irresponsible stoners (The Beatles suck!!)*

2.) Running- As much as I try, I just cannot seem to fall in love with running. I do understand why people love it; running is to runners as cycling is to me :) Except for the fact that running is terrible. Just when I get to that point during a run when I think to myself, "Hey there, Shelby, this isn't so bad", I throw up and change my mind. I find it absolutely impossible to develop a solid rhythm and I basically end up huffing and puffing or holding my breath until I pass out. Add in some D-cup boobies and it's simply torture. Ever notice that most women that claim to love running have small cha-chas? It's because they aren't getting punched in the face by a 5-pound boob everytime they stride. Give me some duct tape and an oxygen machine and I'll reconsider my hatred for the "sport".

3.) Back fat- I wrote this poem about back fat...

Below my bra strap, you reside;
Squishy, fatty, jiggly, and wide.
You eat my t-shirt while I jog;
All of the attention you must hog. 
Back extensions, rowing machines, cardio galore;
I fucking hate you back fat, THIS MEANS WAR!

Hope you guys enjoyed the makeup sex post :)

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