Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Wurk Eth-ik

Work ethic [wurk eth-ik]:
A belief in the moral benefit and importance of work and its inherent ability to strengthen character.

I'm just making assumptions here, but I think Mr. Stanford (photographed) probably has a really good work ethic. He'll probably grow up to be exactly the person I'm describing.

I hear the phrase “work ethic” at least once a day…usually when I am at work and usually when someone is regarding how fantastic their own work ethic is. I’m 99% sure that I even wrote “fantastic work ethic” on my résumé’ at one point in time, but here is the truth: I do not care about my work ethic, your work ethic, or anyone else’s work ethic. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I have a BAD work ethic, but probably that I simply do not have one at all. Sometimes I work very, very hard at my job…I get everything done in a timely and efficient manner, I don’t plot to burn the building down, and I even remember to sign my timecard at the end of the day. And sometimes I accomplish USEFUL things: I pay my bills, check my bank account, read all of my blogs, respond to all of my emails, do my kegal exercises, log all of my food for the day, research ways to make my cats happy…and all without an ounce of stress.

Having a work ethic implies that you spend A LOT of time doing work, thinking about work, and even thinking about doing work…which then causes you to be stressed out when you get home, where your loving, sandwich-making wife then asks you,  "Honey buckets, what is wrong?" Of course you give her the nod-off answer of, “oh, nothing”, but she sees right through it…she’s been vacuuming your floors and folding your uncomfortable work slacks for too long not to notice. “You’re stressed about work”, she says…and you know she’s right; shit, why is she always right? Not only are you spending at least 40 hours at work, but now you are thinking about work when you should be enjoying the pot roast that your dinner-machine so diligently prepared for you. Due to the overwhelming stress, you even failed to notice that she forgot to give you a soda with your dinner…but it’s too late to bring it up now; dinner was over an hour ago…now she’s going to begin thinking that she can slip up and make mistakes because you won’t even notice…you’re probably just thinking about the expense report that is sitting on your desk. She’s right again…did you forget to turn it in? Yes, yes you did. Are you going to lose sleep over this? Of course you are. 

In the meantime, I left work at 4:54… 6 minutes early…and I’m drinking some tea and sitting in my porch-hammock with the wind blowing through my hair. Am I thinking about work? Hell no; I’m thinking about how glad I am that I don’t have a work ethic and I can think about nachos, summer-time, and used book stores whenever I want. Because guess what, expense report! You’re just going to enjoy your new home under the pile of other things I’ll probably never get to.

The Responsibility Champion award belongs to the fabulous Allie Brosh of I decided that she wouldn't mind the use of her photo with due credit and some linkage. Give her a visit (:

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