HOW TO: make yogurt NOT taste like shit.

I'm not sure if you've ever experienced plain yogurt, but it tastes like sour cream and cat poop had a love child and a rich, pretentious yogurt tycoon decided to turn it into a white "health food" and hire Jamie Lee Curtis to promote it to people with regularity issues. Well, thanks to the fact that I'm a dignified genius, I am posting the recipe for the best thing I've ever had in my mouth. 

Shelby's Non-Shitty Yogurt Mush:

Layered from top:

1 TBSP organic agave nectar

1 TBSP natural ground, honey-roasted peanut butter

1 TBSP mini dark chocolate chips

1 kiwi, sliced and halved (or fruit of your choice)

1/2 cup raw oats (hell yes I eat raw oats!)

1 TBSP flax seed

1/2 cup greek yogurt

I told you so. It looks pretty fancy, too...you could probably serve this to some kind of prestigious guest of your's that agrees that yogurt tastes like shit...he'll think you're a genius for turning yogurt into a non-shitty yet delicious creation. 

But you better tell him that you're not the genius. 

You better or I will find you. If I can make yogurt taste delicious, imagine what I can do when I'm angry.