3 Things Right Now

Thursdays don't really exist to me anymore; actually, days of the week don't really exist to me anymore. When it doesn't matter what day of the week it is, they all just start meshing together and I stop caring if it's Sunday or Tuesday or Friday. I don't have a job or many responsibilities, so I hardly pay attention to the day it is. Today is Thursday for us right now because I have things that are irritating me that I'd like to write about, so happy Thursday on this here lovely Sunday!

1.)  Walmart- I'm done shopping at Wally World now. I've made this decision to stick it to the man once again; first I went vegetarian and now I am swearing off the world's largest corporation. There are obvious reasons for doing so: the parking lot, the people within, the smell, the low quality, etc; meanwhile, there are behind-the-scenes reasons that most people are unaware of. Walmart treats their employees like garbage; they are underpaid, overworked, and barely appreciated by customers and employers alike. Almost all of Walmart's employees are on government aid programs (Welfare, food stamps, Medicare, WIC, etc.) because their employer DEPENDS on these programs (and cheap Chinese products) so that they can underpay employees and provide shoppers the low prices that everyone is so concerned with. By shopping at other markets and spending an extra dollar or two, we're standing up for ourselves and our fellow citizens by cutting back some of the power that this corporation has on our country and our world. Plus, if you can avoid all of the electric carts containing people that are too lazy to walk, loud children that continually run into you, the garbage food that they promote, the ridiculous amount of time you spend standing in line, and the demographic of people that you fall into just because you shop there, why the hell wouldn't you?

2.) Marriage- Every little girl dreams of their wedding day; walking Barbie and Ken down the aisle that  you've fashioned out of toilet paper, imagining what your dress will look like and where you'll go on your honeymoon. Little girls grow up, date a few piece of shit boyfriends, get their heart broken, and eventually find someone that they fall in love with and decide to marry. What was the key phrase in the last sentence? "LITTLE GIRLS GROW UP". I've met a few couples that have been together since age 18 and make it work; they wouldn't change a thing even if they could go back in time- they're supposed to be together...they're the exception to the rule. I feel like everyone around me is getting married so young and so quickly without knowing their partner for long at all. I simply do not understand the rush. What happened to dating someone for a year or two and enjoying the process? Call me old-fashioned, but I really believe in knowing the person that you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with. Oh and the baby excuse isn't valid anymore...it's 2011 and obviously if you are that worried about religion, you wouldn't have been making babies anyway, so you can wait for marriage. 

3.) Buffets- Ew! I wasn't even aware that people still ate in these "restaurants"! They're absolute breeding grounds for bacteria and low-quality food. I may be too cautious, but I find it entirely too difficult to trust an eating establishment that serves chicken fingers and chinese food next to the imitation crab meat and the jello. All out in the open like that, it makes me nauseous to think that my food has mated with 100 other people's food. I want virgin salad mix- I don't want the same salad that the guy in the corner eating the ice cream and picking his nose just ate...at least I don't want to know that we are eating the same salad. I ate at a Chinese buffet last week because I was invited by my wonderful father. I was actually really surprised because the food was pretty tasty and there were plenty of vegetarian options for me to pick from. I was surprised again when we all ended up with some unpleasant bathroom time for the next few hours. I would rather not be surprised like this again- goodbye, buffets!

Don't be pissed at me if you got married yesterday to your partner of 2 months and you are now eating at a buffet and planning your honeymoon in a Walmart. You should be pissed at yourself :)

New Beginnings

Excuse me, 2011, but where the hell did you come from? Last time I checked, it was 2007 and now here we are embracing ANOTHER new year that crept up on us too quickly. Quite frankly, 2010 was less than desirable; a lot of unfortunate things happened, but among the shit (losing my job, losing my apartment, enduring family controversy, etc.) emerged a few really wonderful events that I am very thankful for (being with my amazing boyfriend, moving in with my father & sister, getting my lovely cats, learning new things, etc.). 

In order to grow into a stronger, more confident and self-sufficiant being, gradual improvement and evolution is extremely necessary. In order to create improvement and evolution, one must accept and activate change in their lives. 2011 is going to be a year of change for me and I am looking forward to implementing processes to get me where I'd like to be in a year. 

On the first of the year every year, friends and family discuss new year's resolutions, usually involving one of the following: getting in shape, quitting smoking, eating more healthfully, becoming more financially stable, etc. I'm not sure that I've ever heard someone mention a goal that wasn't superficial like these. Granted, quitting smoking and becoming healthier are very important, but I don't want a cookie-cutter resolution this year. I want to take advantage of the year ahead of me, become a better person, make essential life-changes, and accomplish things I've been putting off for a while. 

Here are a few things that I'd like to see in 2011:

• More consistent, meaningful blogging from your's truly.
• A stronger relationship with my family and my boyfriend.
• Forgiveness for the people that have hurt me in the past.
• Better dedication towards my passions and hobbies (writing, blogging, hoop-dancing, knitting, etc.)
• New & stronger friendships.
• Exploration of new activities, environments, and personalities. 
• A healthier lifestyle.
• Risk-taking and adventure.
• TONS of reading and learning.
• Better acceptance of other points of view and opinions.
• Release & acceptance of events & people from my past. 

Those are just the most important for now. I will explore in more detail as I go through these things in the next year, but until I make things happen, it's just a list. I hope everyone had a safe and happy holiday season. Now that it's finally over, I'll be blogging and sharing a lot more than I have been. Happy new year to you all!

T3- Reasons to Be Nice To Vegetarians :)

Hello reader-folk! I'm still here; don't worry! I'm just a day or two late...we're doing T3 on Saturday this week and I'm sure everyone understands- the holiday season is chaotic and stressful! I didn't even know that it wasn't Thursday until about 2 minutes ago. 

Anyway, just to clarify one important fact about myself and today's post, I don't push my beliefs on people; I absolutely respect the power of individual opinion and I'd never try to change someone's stance on things, except for respecting my opinions and beliefs.  I know that today's title might throw some of you off, but I just want to plead my case on my new-ish lifestyle change. I've been a vegetarian for almost two months now; I feel amazing and this decision has absolutely changed my life. Unfortunately, I've gotten a lot of shit about this decision from family, friends, and acquaintances- this is irritating and I'd like to stand up for myself in my favorite way. Here's why you should be nice to vegetarians (especially this one):

1.)  I'm not doing this for cows- I'm doing this for myself. I love cute, baby chickens as much as the next lady, but this change has gone beyond moral justification. I'm sick of being a typical burger chow-hound, I'm sick of giving into the corporate bullshit, and I'm sick of being a fat, lazy American that eats an average of 260 POUNDS OF MEAT PER YEAR. Companies are lying to consumers about what they put into their product, about how to manufacture their product, and about how they treat their employees. Why would I support that? Why have I supported that for 19 years? I'm taking a stand FOR MYSELF and finally saying 'no' to corporations that have been pumping me with growth hormones and poisons for my entire life.  Here's a nasty-ass fact for you: in the 1960's, chickens took 90 days to develop entirely; today, chickens raised for Tyson only take 43 days. The chickens' muscles grow too quickly for their bones and organs to support, so very few can walk away from their own feces while they're eating. Chickens raised for Tyson never see daylight.

2.) We're helping the environment- Someone told me once that using hairspray was destroying the environment. Here's what I have to say them: Shutup, jerk. Your cheeseburger is killing the environment more than my hairspray, more than cutting down trees, and more than TRANSPORTATION. Suck that, Hairspray-Nazi. Here's an excerpt from "Rethinking the Meat Guzzler", a New York Times article:

"An estimated 30 percent of the earth’s ice-free land is directly or indirectly involved in livestock production, according to the United Nation’s Food and Agriculture Organization, which also estimates that livestock production generates nearly a fifth of the world’s greenhouse gases — more than transportation."

3.)  I feel incredible- I haven't felt this physically-well in my entire life. I have more energy, my skin looks better, I'm losing weight, I sleep better, I poop easier, I save money at the grocery store (according to statistics I will save approximately $4000 per year), and the only thing that gets abused for my dinner is spinach and carrots. Replacing cheeseburgers and hormone-rich steaks with vegetables and natural proteins is the best decision I've ever made. Hell, I'm even willing to put up with ridicule just for the way that I feel now. 

Those are only the top 3 reasons I think people should be more accepting of vegetarianism. This lifestyle is frowned upon in our society and it makes absolutely no sense. At least I know what is going into my food and I know that there is only one carrot in my one carrot and not 1,000 different cows in my one cheeseburger. I'm not standing here with a picket sign telling you not to eat meat; I just want respect for my decision. Quit judging, open your mind, do some research, and show some respect.

Oh, and have a wonderful day :) I love my readers! Thank you all for your support!

Beer+Bread=Oh My.

As if beer and bread by itself isn't delicious enough, mixing it together is basically too good to be true. Do it anyway!

Beer Bread Recipe*:

• 1 Can Preferred Beer (I recommend Fat Tire)
• 3 Cups Self-Rising Flour
• 3 Tbsp. Sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, mix all ingredients in large bowl, spray bread pan with non-stick cooking spray, empty contents into pan, bake for approximately 1 hour.

*Recipe compliments of my lovely friend, Amy :)

It's okay guys, we can be fat together!

T3- Holiday Edition!

SURPRISE! You may say I'm a little late, but I think I have pretty great timing! The holidays are stressful, you know, and what's better for stress than laughing at someone and their lame attempts to be funny! Because there is nothing funnier and more awkward than the holiday season in my home, I figure I'll share some tales from the years past- I will be writing about the three worst Christmas presents I've ever received.

#1) A Christmas on the Homestead- My Great Aunt Norma and Great Aunt Karen are two of the most wonderful women I've ever met and I'm positive that most people would agree with that. They're sweet, creative, and they make some very beautiful things, like quilts, Christmas ornaments, and pot holders. Since my sister and I have progressed into adulthood, we usually find a simple card with a $10 bill stuffed into the envelope, but in our younger years, I think our aunts knew that if they made it, we'd be forced to wear it with a smile on our faces. When I was 6 years old, a large package arrived a few days before Christmas and it was specifically addressed to Alyssa and I; we were excited. My dad must have known its contents because he had his patented "Dad Smirk" going on over on the sidelines, anticipating the sheer embarrassment that would haunt us for years to come. We shredded the box with glee, waiting for copious amounts of toys, candy, and fun hiding in the bottom of the cardboard. There we found two white bonnets with floral pattern, paired with matching aprons for each of us. Suited up in our homestead gear and dreading the day when someone else would see the photo, we faked a smile and acted like the miniature housewives we were dressed to be. As I'm complaining about this gift, I remember that I asked my sister for an apron this year...

#2) The Sweater Heard 'Round the World- Grannies give the best presents: they get you the things mom won't, they spend half of their retirement money to make you smile, and they don't quite understand when gifts are not a good idea. Grannies aren't perfect though...they make mistakes just like the rest of us. When I was 8 years old, my sister and I were playing with our Hot Wheels in the living room when my mom brought out two identically wrapped packages and placed them under the tree. Immediately after she had left the room, we were shaking, smelling, and weighing the packages to guess their contents; the package was jingling. "Everything that jingles is fucking awesome", I said to my sister, "Granny gives better presents than mom, so I'm opening this bitch first." A few days later on Christmas, that is exactly what I did...just like the stupid, little bastard I was. Made with dark black, very fuzzy yarn, laid a knitted sweater in the bottom of my box. Picking the lump of fabric up with hesitation and fear, I unfolded the mystery. Two pointy ears, two giant eyes, a little pink nose, and a curved smile sat above a jingly bell: I was holding a kitty-cat sweater. I met my sister's eyes with horror when I realized what had just happened. "Put it on, put it on, put it on", my mother cooed, "I want to take a picture for your Granny!" Alyssa and I came tromping out of our bedroom, jingling like two awkward-looking, scrawny, rejected reindeer with frowns on or faces. "Meowwww", we mumbled as my mother snapped the photo.

#3) Hindsight is always 20/20- I resent that 10 years ago, this gift would have made my "Best Gifts Ever" list. As I unwrapped the small shirt-box, I was expecting a sweater or a pair of jeans from JC Penney like every other box under the tree probably contained. When I pulled the denim overalls out of the box, I was immediately stoked, but as I unfolded them and discovered the Looney Toons embellishments lining the pockets and straps, I peed my pants in excitement. "I am going to be the coolest girl in all of third grade", I said outloud, "I'll wear my hair in pigtails and I'll wear my favorite purple t-shirt underneath". When I see pictures of me wearing these Tweety Bird overalls, I cannot help but cringe. A comforting fact is that I recognize the distaste of Looney Toons (or Disney) embellished clothing and I'd rather view photos of myself at 10 years old wearing it than be seen in a Walmart wearing the same pair at 30 years old. 

These are all bad gifts, but they must have had some kind of meaning because I still remember every detail to this day. The truth is that sometimes a thoughtful, ugly gift is much more meaningful than a gift card or some body spray from the dollar store. And in regards to grannies, they must be able to predict the future...how did she know I'd grow up to be a cat lady?

Happy Holidays, everyone. Welcome back! :)

Twenty Before 20 Novel Progress

It was too cluttered in the original Twenty post to keep track of all of the novels I've read so far, so I decided to make a separate post designated for that. It's not like I don't have at least ten posts just about books anyway...it's expected when you are unemployed and live with your cats. Here we go!


Autobiography of a Fat Bride- Laurie Notaro
The Flaming Tantrum of Death- Laurie Notaro
One for the Money- Janet Evanovich
Two for the Dough- Janet Evanovich
Three to Get Deadly- Janet Evanovich
Four to Score- Janet Evanovich
A Million Little Pieces- James Frey 


Oh boy, I have a lot to do before my birthday. Because I've read all of these in the past month, it seems like I've done far much more than I actually have. Everyone already knows I'm a slacker though; I don't have an image to uphold anymore, but LOOK AT ME BLOGGING RIGHT NOW! High fives all around! :)

Apology Monday!

Hello beloved readers!
As we all know, I really suck at blogging. Here is my official apology though: I’m sorry. I’m moving this week and I will have consistent internet-access as soon as that happens, so I swear on my cats’ lives that I will be blogging more frequently than I have been. To be completely honest, the most exciting thing that has happened lately the speeding ticket I got last month. I really don’t even know what I would write about anymore, but I will figure something out soon. Please don’t give up on me!

-Shelby